I have been recently thinking about how each country is unique with at least one particular thing. And not necessarily a good one, but something which it has given to the world (a type of ice-cream, a bomb, a Holocaust). Something that is its personal recognizable logo design trend. We, the Bulgarians, have only our little invisible brute – lactobacillusbulgaricus, although we have been ferociously trying for the last twenty years to fuck it up (the way we corrupt everything that is nice and decent, and of some quality about our country just for the sheer pleasure of seeing it go to hell). As a result of our criminal negligence, the world-wide famous Bulgarian yogurt became just yogurt with its various subcategories – Austrian yogurt, Swiss Yogurt, the Northern-Korean yogurt, and of course, the notoriously good-tasting Japanese yogurt.
So, even if a small state like Bulgaria has something of its own, what is to be expected from a mammoth-like, although dwarf-sized in historic terms, country like the USA? Yes, you’ve guessed correctly – mi-ra-cles! Actually, not just miracles, but all the miracles in the modern world in one place. Despite being in its infant age, the States have contributed with a massive number of innovations.
Let’s see.
The polio vaccine
Bravi! Really!
The cotton gin
We can only imagine how happy the slaves must have been when, after 1793, they didn’t have to anymore manually separate cotton fibers from their seeds. As a result of this invention, the economic efficiency of all the slave-owning households in The South drastically increased.
The nylon
Seriously, where would the world have been now without the nylon?!
The artificial heart
Another colossal medical breakthrough. Although, if you give it some thinking, a lot of people are born with hearts like this (I personally know at least three cruel men and a malicious woman, for whom I am sure to have fake hearts beating in their chests!), but this has never been considered a significant achievement.
The bar-code
For the first time, the bar-code testbed system was used in a supermarket in Ohai for skanning a 10-pack of gum. It must have been for sure a really exciting event! I doubt that before this memorable date any gum had had a more satiated and fuller spearmint taste.
The hearing aid
All in all, it is a wonderful invention, but I bet thousands of men all over the world now regret that the hearing aid has been invented because if it wasn’t for it, they would have now been living in blissful silence, completely deaf to the tedious nagging of their wives.
The moving staircase, a.k.a the escalator
How would have a whole generation of kids of the communism in the 1970’s and 1980’s entertained itself in the first Bulgarian mall without this great invention patented in 1859 by Nathan Ames, born in Roxbery, New Hampshire?!
The frozen foods
Honestly, can you think of a more remarkable invention than the frozen food! And honestly, are there more fortunate people than the doctors, and cardiologists in particular, for whom the work never ends, because annually they treat thousands of overweight people, clogged arteries, hypertension, etc., directly or indirectly linked to the genial inventiveness of one particular person – Clarence Birdseye, who, in 1929, introduced flash freezing to the American public.
The automatic weapon
Let’s have a minute of silence to honor the genius of this noble man who put into the hands of a countless number of psychopaths around the world his wonderful creation!
The nuclear energy
The first nuclear reactor was first used on December 2, 1942, as a part of the Manhattan Project. Only three years later the members of the committee who were to decide which would be the targets subjected to bombing, suggested Kyoto to be the first target to be hit because, according to them, the population there would “undoubtedly appreciate the significance of the weapon.” Hiroshima came as a second choice because of the big number of its inhabitants. Sweet!
The hotdog
Stop! Actually, the hotdog is not an American invention. In the dawn of their existence the sausages tucked in a bun were called frankfurters (after the town they originally come from) and were made exclusively of pork.
The fast food
The right of the Americans to call this innovation their own cannot be challenged though! Besides, hardly any other nation would be willing to usurp the right over the fast food having in mind its ill-fame because of the irreparable effect it has on people’s health. Forget the old saying “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”! Now the modern tune goes like “A Big Mac a day keeps you constipated till grave”.
The Disneyland
People dressed like pigs, dogs and princesses. Can it get any sadder?
Elvis Presley
I hope the guy is really dead and has not been hiding for the last 37 years on a desert island because he’d never survive seeing how Ceco Elvisa[1] imitates him.
[1] An infamous Bulgarian lookalike of Elvis Presley
